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Most people think that cancer is the biggest, worst battle you'll ever have to fight. But their forgetting that cancer isn't just like having a flu, once you get over it its not so easy just to go back to your regular life like nothing has changed.
when i recovered from cancer, that was when the real battle started.
going to school, where all your friends are talking about breaking-a-nail, and you're sitting there thinking 'i nearly died guys, this is so insignificant'
you don't fit in anymore, you've got all this new maturity and is beyond your years and your peers don't understand you. on top of that, most people think that after you've beaten cancer it's not going to affect you anymore, that you're not going to think about it all the time, that you're not going to be terrified of recurrence for a few months after.
its this kind of stuff that plagued me after cancer... and it took me AGES to get back into the social swing of things...
but it's been 6 years now, and i feel i'm well and truly recovered, mentally, emotionally and physically.
how about you guys? are/did any of you guys facing the same kind of problems?
when i recovered from cancer, that was when the real battle started.
going to school, where all your friends are talking about breaking-a-nail, and you're sitting there thinking 'i nearly died guys, this is so insignificant'
you don't fit in anymore, you've got all this new maturity and is beyond your years and your peers don't understand you. on top of that, most people think that after you've beaten cancer it's not going to affect you anymore, that you're not going to think about it all the time, that you're not going to be terrified of recurrence for a few months after.
its this kind of stuff that plagued me after cancer... and it took me AGES to get back into the social swing of things...
but it's been 6 years now, and i feel i'm well and truly recovered, mentally, emotionally and physically.
how about you guys? are/did any of you guys facing the same kind of problems?
5 Comments in this Topic
stephano711 said
about 2 years ago
Good Topic JAZZ!
I had a lot of issues after my mum died. My friends would sit there bagging out their mum's cause she wouldnt let them go out or she'd made them a bad lunch and all I wanted to do was scream at them.It was difficult as well on occasions like mothers day and when I went to my year 12 formal and especially my Graduation from high school. All my friends were really excited about having pictures with their mums and inviting their parents to Graduation and I wasn't even allowed to invite my brother in place of my mum.
Its been 5 years now and I'm able to brush it off because they've never had to experience what I went through.
It's still hard sometimes because of the trivial nature of some of the things people argue about with their parents but I dont get as annoyed about it anymore.
Jaz said
about 2 years ago
I've heard other people say they same thing - that they get really angry when their friends carry on with all their trivial stuff, and get angry because their parents won't buy them a new ipod or something. I guess an experience like cancer really changes your perspective on what's important or significant.
I can totally understand how this would get really frustrating and make you angry. On the other hand, if I had a choice, I wouldn't want anyone to go through the experience of cancer, so the fact that some people just don't get it can actually be a good thing in a sense - it's refreshing to see young people just being young people.
Cool name Jazz, by the way ;)- lol thanks jaz! you've got a pretty awesome name yourself ;)
yeah i agree, i think it's awesome that there are so many young people are just being young people. i think the problem with cancer is it really does grow you up so much. i mean as a young person with cancer, i was dealing with stuff that i really shouldn't have been dealing with for years, like i had to make descisions where the consequences could be my own death, and stuff like that, so when we have cancer in our lives, we have to adapt and grow a level of maturity well beyond our years.
and i think the real struggle, psychosocially, is finding how to adapt yourself, once you're through your cancer experience, so that you're somewhere inbetween super mature and immature so taht you can fit in with your peers.
for me personally i think i had to come to terms with my cancer fully, so that it wasn't a defining point for me. it probably took me about 5 years to adapt myself.
but yeah i think it's such a trying time for a teenager dealing with cancer -you have to deal with the cancer, and the normal social issues, as well as social issues related to having cancer in your life.
lol could it get anymore complicated? lol -
Jaz said
about 2 years ago
wow sounds like you've dealt with things in a really mature way. I think it's great that you're able to come on here and offer support to other young people who might be experiencing the same sort of thing right now.
You're right - being a teenager is hard enough, without throwing in all the complications of cancer. Did you feel like your friends understood that you'd been through a life-changing experience and had a different perspective now? - no, not at all actually. my friends at the time i think understood that i'd changed, but they didn't know how to relate to the person i'd become.
with these types of experiences generally you find that you've got a million friends supporting you while you're sick or whatever, but once you're "well" and you should be getting on with your life people just think that you're okay now and that you don't need support. i found that once i had recovered from cancer i had barely any support from friends, whereas while i was sick a had 100's of people supporting me.
it's really interesting, i think relaly it comes down to people (especially young teenagers) not understanding.
i think that there really isn't enough information available for friends of peopel affected by cancer, because honestly, a close friend is often just like a family member, and they should have more resources available to them when going through stuff liek this.
which is why it's great that this site has been developed, as it's targetting anyone who is affected by cancer.
