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Topic
Jen posted
5 months ago
Educating Friends about living with cancer
Hey Guys,
Now What is looking into developing some ‘Friends’ content for this site. I have a few questions to put to you...
1. Do you have any tips for SUPPORTING a friend living with cancer?
2. Do you have any tips on what NOT to SAY/DO when you have a friend living with cancer?
3. How to start a conversation with your friend living with cancer? Any tips or ideas???
4. Practical ways to help a friend living with cancer? Any tips or ideas?
5. Emotional effects of having a friend living with cancer? Any tips or ideas?
This ‘Friends’ section of Now What will cover things like:
1. What to expect when your friend:
- Is diagnosed with cancer
- Has a parent diagnosed with cancer
- Has a sibling diagnosed with cancer
- Has a parent/sibling die from cancer
ANY Feedback/Ideas/Tips for any of the above would be greatly appreciated so get thinking and post a few!
Jen
6 Comments in this Topic
Alf said
5 months ago
Friends can say (and ask) stupid things at the best of times, throw in cancer and it can just get worse. But really the stupid things they say probably just come out cause they're trying to help, although this can be hard to tell yourself sometimes. Like when people say:
"I know exactly how you feel."
Uh, no......ya probably don't and lucky for you that you don't too!
Has anyone had stupid things said to them and how do they deal with it when it happens?????
frank said
5 months ago
My friends just totally ignored me for while when they heard. No-one wanted to talk about it or even say anything. it was kind of embarassing too as I was the person at school whose dad had cancer.
I didnt see anyone in the same boat - but i kind of wonder if other people dont talk about it even if it is happening at home. I didnt really want to either i guess.
One kid in our school did get cancer though and noone really talked about it to him.ihatesoup said
4 months ago
One of the issues I have heard a lot about is bullying of young people who are living with cancer from people at school and sometimes people they had previously considered as friends.
Has anyone had to deal with bullying because of cancer? Any tips on dealing with this?-
Alf said
4 months ago
It seems so strange that even in this day and age people can freak out and start treating people who are supposed be their friends badly because they have cancer. I personally think it's born out of ignorance and fear of anything different. which seems weird because we know so much about cancer now!
Another thing is when your friends seem to just simply disappear. Not that they are mean or anything, they just disappear. I think this is a bit of them protecting themselves from what might happen and also saving themselves from what they think might be uncomfortable situations and conversations.
The only thing they need to know is that they can't have it both ways. If you bail when cancer pops up, don't expect to be let back in when it's gone! -
Alf said
4 months ago
Just checked out the Friends Corner on this site. It's a whole heap of info for friends of young peole living with cancer. Gives them tips and advice about how to support a friend who is living with cancer. It seems like it would help to reduce the scare factor involved:
http://www.nowwhat.org.au/info/relationships/friends-corner
Send the link to any of your friends, it just might give them the right info to stick around and be more supportive! 
Jaz said
4 months ago
The friends corner looks great. I think sending the link to your friends is a great idea.
I know as a friend, I've struggled with knowing how best to support my friend. I've also struggled with knowing how much space to give them - whether I should be visiting them more or giving them some space to spend time with their family. It can be really hard to know the right thing to do. I asked my friend to just be really honest with me and tell me if they didn't feel up to a visit, or call me if they really needed one.
Personally I've found helping out with all the practical stuff to be a good way to support my friend - whether it's helping them sort out the bills or picking up forms from centrelink, to cooking meals for their family members.
