Dealing with Stuff
When your sibling's cancer cannot be cured
Fact sheets
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Taking in the news
When young people are sick, most people – even doctors – expect them to get better. The idea that they might not seems unreal. -
Dealing with uncertainty
The problem with cancer is that it is really hard to predict exactly what is going to happen. -
Getting the right info
People sometimes describe a big obvious problem that no one is talking about as an ‘elephant in the room’. -
Changing family dynamics
Every family is different. Each one has its own system (the famous “family dynamic”) for how things should be: who is the boss, what role each person plays, and how you get along with each other. -
How are you really feeling?
“I’m fine, thanks”…. Really? Young people are very skilled at hiding stuff. And people expect you to be a bit moody sometimes. -
Expressing your feelings
Imagine you are a volcano. Got that? Now imagine your feelings are all the gases and molten rocks bubbling away inside you. If they aren’t released, the pressure will build up and eventually erupt! OK, that was all a bit dramatic. But you get the point. -
Finding support
All this chatter of talking about it and getting help from other people…sounds good on paper, but it’s not always that easy to know where to start. -
What should I say and do?
Do you want to be more involved in what’s going on, but don’t really know where to start? -
Memories and stories
When your sibling dies, they will stay connected to you forever in your memories and thoughts. -
Palliative care for siblings
When it no longer seems likely that your sibling’s cancer can be cured, the focus of treatment shifts towards helping them feel as comfortable as possible, so they can make the most of the life they have left. -
Hospital or home?
A major decision your family will have to make is where your sibling will be at the end: at home, hospital or a special hospice. -
When the end is near
There is no way you can be fully prepared for what will happen and how you will feel when your sibling dies. But it can help to know a bit about what it might be like. -
When your sibling dies
There are some signs that someone has died -
Funerals
Some people say that a funeral is for the living. -
Coping with grief
The grief may take a while to hit you, but at some point it probably will. When the initial shock wears off and it gradually sinks in that your brother or sister really has died, it can feel like the bottom has dropped out of the world.
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