Grief and Loss
Finances, legal and other boring stuff
- This can be really overwhelming and stressful – especially when you are trying to deal with your own and everyone else’s grief.
Who, what, where?
You may have already been dealing with financial issues, banking, health funds, Centrelink, Medicare and other Government Departments and have some understanding of how these work and people who can continue to help you.
If not, there is lots of assistance available. Sometimes it’s a matter of knowing what questions to ask and who to ask.
Things that you can get help with:
- Financial assistance
- Rent assistance
- Legal rights
Where to get more information:
- The social worker at the hospital or hospice (you may already have had contact with them)
- School or uni counsellors
- Centrelink – there is a whole section on their website that provides information on what to do when someone dies. Centrelink also has social workers.
- Legal Aid – provides free legal advice. There are different legal aid offices in each state.
Wills
A will is a legal document where you name the people you want to receive the things you own (like your house, money and other possessions) after you die. It can also outline what will happen to children after a parent dies.
If there is no will then you may need legal advice on how these things get sorted out.
If you had the opportunity to talk about it before your parent died then there may already be a plan for what will happen to you and your brothers and sisters.
If not, then it is important to find people you trust to talk about what will happen and what options you have.
- If possible, avoid making big decisions and big changes in the first weeks after your parent has died.
- In fact, there is evidence that says you shouldn’t do this in the first year if possible.
- Apart from the added stress, you may not be able to think clearly and could end up making decisions that are not right for you and other family members.
Managing money
Some of you may now find yourself responsible for managing your own and others’ money. This could be as simple as having to do the weekly shopping or it may mean having to look after all the finances for the family.
Knowing how much you have to spend and what you need to spend it on will make it a whole lot easier. That’s what a budget is.
Here are a few tips to help you tackle this:
- List all the things you need to pay for on a monthly or weekly basis.
- Always put aside money for the essential things first, like food, rent/mortgage payments, electricity and health care.
- Get a calendar and write in when the regular bills need to be paid.
- When you are doing the shopping, make a list and stick to it. Having a trolley full of Tim Tams and ice-cream and no money for meat and veggies (and toilet paper) isn’t so smart.
- Avoid the ‘lots of food but nothing to eat’ trap by working out what you are going to eat/cook for the whole week and making a shopping list.
- Supermarkets are cheaper than convenience stores. Cooking is cheaper than eating out or getting take away (and healthier).
- Don’t put those envelopes with the little see-through windows in a drawer and forget about them. They are most likely bills and won’t go away just because you didn’t open them. (Or they could be offers for credit cards that you don’t want or need – in that case, bin them.)
Remember: You don’t have to do all of this on your own and it’s okay not to know how to do things. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
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