• It's not about what you say. It's about showing your support.

• Keep on doing what you would normally do together.

• You don't need to have any answers. You just need to listen.

Sharing feelings? As if!

• Putting two guys in a room and telling them to talk about their feelings (even if they are best mates) can be unrealistic. You know what they say… something about pigs flying.

• Unfortunately for guys, we can sometimes find it hard to talk about certain things. When seriously big things like cancer come along it can be even harder.

When cancer comes along

• Your friend might have cancer, or someone in their family might have cancer or have died from cancer – and you no longer feel as comfortable talking to them. Especially if it’s going to involve talking about cancer.

• Cancer is such a scary, confusing, strange and foreign thing to most people that the thought of having to talk about it can seem impossible. Where do you start? And what do you possibly have to say that will help?

The good news

• The good news is it's not always about what you say; it's just about being there for your friend and showing them your support.

Remember: they are still the same friend you had before, they’ve just found themselves in a really crappy situation.

What can I do?

• You know your friend, you know what they like and enjoy. Even though cancer has entered their life, these things won’t have changed.

• So if you used to talk about footy heaps or share music or whatever it is that you enjoyed together, keep doing it (even if it does have to happen in a hospital room).

• Enjoying the same things together will not only give them a welcome distraction from cancer but also put you in a situation where you might be more comfortable talking (if you both want to).

How do I talk about it?

If you are going to try talking to them about it, here are some tips that might help you to communicate with your friend:

• ­It’s okay to talk about things other than cancer.

• ­Let your friend guide conversations – if they want to talk about cancer they will bring it up.

• ­If your friend does start talking about cancer, be open to it. Remember, you don’t need to give them answers. ­Just listening can be really helpful for them.

• ­It’s okay to ask questions. If your friend doesn’t want to answer them, respect that and move on.

• ­Don’t worry too much about upsetting them. They are your friend, and even if you do say something stupid they’ll get over it!

Cancer messing with your friends life?

Cancer messing with your friends life is a postcard for friends of young people living with cancer. It includes practical tips about what you can do to support your friend and stay connected through their cancer experience.

Download your free copy of the postcard at the bottom of this page.