Having the correct information is an important way to help you cope with what's going on in your family. It can also give you a sense of control when everything else seems out of control.

Some people like to know every little detail, while others just want the key facts.

Whatever you choose is okay. How much and what you want to know may change over time.

Your parents might not want to tell you stuff about your brother or sister because they don’t want to worry you or they think they are protecting you. Talking about it could be really tough for them.

Questions to ask:

You can ask your parent, doctors, nurses or a social worker.

• What kind of cancer does my brother or sister have? (in plain English please!)
• What part of their body does it affect?
• How do you know they have cancer?
• What tests are you going to do?
• Is this cancer going to be painful?
• What kind of treatment will they have? Where can I find extra info about it?
• Will the treatment be painful?
• Does the treatment have side effects?
• How long does the treatment take?
• How will they feel while they are getting the treatment?
• Will it change the way they look, feel or act?
• How will we know if the treatment is working?
• What will happen if the treatment doesn’t work?
• Is there a chance I might get this cancer as well?
• Will they get better?
• Have you ever treated someone with this cancer before?
• How many have you treated?
• What age were they?
• Will you always tell me the truth about what is going on?
• Is there any new research or clinical trials for this type of cancer?

Information overload

Being stressed, upset or scared makes it hard to remember a lot of the stuff that you get told.

These tips may help:

• Write your questions down.
• Write the answers down.
• Ask people to repeat things if you don’t get it the first time (or the second or tenth time).
• Pictures and diagrams can help – don’t be scared to ask people to use these.

Remember: you may need to remind people to talk in plain English, not medical language.