• However they are an important part of the grief and bereavement process.

• You may not know what to expect or how you will react. 

• You may be really involved in planning the funeral and participating in it or you may be happy to let other people do that.

What happens at a funeral?

There is no such thing as a standard funeral. A lot will depend on you and your family’s religious and cultural beliefs.

Some religions allow families to create their own service while others may have very structured rituals and services.

Funerals services can take place at:

• a church, synagogue, mosque or other religious places of worship

• a chapel, sometimes attached to a funeral home or at the cemetery

• the graveside

The Burial

Once the service is finished the funeral will continue at the gravesite.

Things that might help to know:

• The grave will already be dug before you arrive and will not be completely filled until after you leave

• The coffin is lowered by ropes

• People at the funeral can choose to place a few shovels of earth into the grave

What happens at a cremation?

• A cremation is where the body is burnt rather than buried.

• While the actual cremation has to take place in a crematorium the service can take place in a church or chapel somewhere else.

• The coffin is not burnt until after the service is complete and you have left the crematorium.

What about the ashes?

Once the cremation has taken place the ashes are placed in an urn and then in a locked room where they can be collected later by the family.

Once the ashes have been collected they can be:

• Buried in a cemetery in a small plot or placed in a special memorial wall at the cemetery.

• Preserved in a decorative urn and kept at home or some other favourite spot.

• Scattered somewhere that has significance for your family like a garden, beach, river or park.

It also depends on the personal wishes of your family.

Talking about what sort of a funeral your parent wants before they die can be very hard, but it is often a chance to plan what will happen and can make things a bit easier when you actually have to do it.