We are all individuals and will deal with things differently.

You probably have set roles in your family. 

• the responsible one

• the rebel

• the quiet one

• the one everyone blames

Sound familiar?

Well now that one of your parents has cancer, these roles and relationships will probably have to change.

Extra responsibilities

If you are the oldest in the family you may take on some extra responsibilities – for some of you this may be fine but others may find it a big hassle.

Younger brothers and sisters may also not like the fact that you are being the parent. You know how it goes: "You're not mum/dad! Stop telling me what to do!"

But the other side to this is that sometimes it really does bring you closer together. It puts you on the same team and you'll learn stuff about each other that you didn't know.

However, if you didn't get along that well before, don't expect miracles now.

Negotiating a new relationship

You will need to set new ground rules for pretty much everything. It is best to have these negotiations when no-one is angry or tired or pretty much ready to snap. Timing is pretty important.

Before you start, remember that:

• We all react to difficult situations and change differently.

• We all express our fears and pain in different ways.

Believe it or not, your other brothers and sisters do understand what you are going through because they’re going through it as well.