• Even between the most loving couples problems can arise. Young adults do not expect their partners to face a life-threatening illness. Like you, they are feeling scared, sad, worried, angry, overwhelmed and confused.

• For many couples, battling cancer will strengthen your relationship and can reinforce your closeness and commitment to each other. Your partner can be a very helpful and positive source of support for you.

• Your partner might struggle more than you do. Their fear of what is going on might be worse than the reality.

Sometimes when you are close to someone you expect that they are able to read your mind and should know what you want. It is sometimes hard to talk about the things that make you upset and angry.

The intensity of your feeling can be scary and confusing – but if you deny them then resentment can build up.

Things that can happen…

• Your partner may overwhelm you by trying to protect you and not let you do anything for yourself…and you’re left feeling frustrated or helpless.

• Your boyfriend or girlfriend might not feel like they can stick around and you might find yourself alone.

• You might worry about how your partner might react to scars, sexual problems and potentially a loss of fertility.

•  You might find that your attitude to things and your outlook on life has changed and this can affect your relationship.

• Your partner has a choice to be there with you so remember that. If they are there looking after you – then let them.

If you are worried that your partner is just with you because they feel sorry for you, then talk about it. In any relationship you need to be open and honest. It will take the pressure off.

Talk about everyday things

• Do something special for each other and plan time to be together

• Find ways to get your partner involved as they may be feeling helpless

• Being able to laugh and cry together is what it’s all about

Sharing is caring

Hiding emotions creates distance between partners. It is normal that you and your partner won’t always feel the same way. Talk about your differences and respect their feelings without criticism or blame.

Try to remember that everyone has different ways of dealing with stress.

Things that can help:

• Try to still talk about everyday things. You don’t always have to talk about cancer

• Do something special for each other and plan time to be together

• Find ways to get your partner involved as they may be feeling helpless

• Being able to laugh and cry together is what it is all about

Remember: You are not going through this alone.