How do you know when it’s time to say goodbye? No one can tell you exactly when your parent is going to die. So, how do you prepare to say goodbye?

It might seem a bit embarrassing to have big deep and meaningfuls and tell your Mum or Dad all your deepest secrets, when they might still be around for months or years.

Or you might be worried that they will think you have lost hope if you start talking about life without them. But would it really be so bad for your parent to know now how much you love them?

It often helps us feel more ready if we find ways to say lots of little goodbyes, bit by bit, in a lot of different ways.

Don’t let things go unsaid

Not every family finds it easy to talk openly with each other. This doesn’t necessarily change when someone is dying. Here are some thoughts to get you started:

• Thank you for…
• I’m sorry that…
• I love you because …
• I feel proud when you …
• I forgive you for… 
• I hope that…
• If only…
• What scares me the most is…
• A favourite memory I have is…
• You make me laugh when…
• I’ll miss you.
• I know that this is really hard for you too.
• I will be OK. I will get through this somehow.
• Do you have any advice for me in the future?

• What are your hopes and dreams for me?

Don’t worry if you didn’t say it all

It is daunting and scary to try and remember everything you think you have ever wanted to tell them before they die. Don't be scared to forget things, or fail to remember a specific memory you wanted to share one last time.

The truth is, they know how you feel, how much you love them, how much you will always love them.

You might find it hard to be around your parent as they approach the end of their life. You are not just a visitor in this experience. It can be really draining to be around them when they are really sick and you might feel like you need a bit more space. You don’t need to feel bad about that. That’s normal too.

Just hang out together

If you can, make the most of the time you have with your parent, you will probably really cherish this time. Try to think of things you can still do together.

You might be able to play a board game, watch DVDs, read the paper or a book to them, or get them to help you with your homework.

Make some one-on-one time

There might be lots of people around helping and wanting to spend time with your parent. But it’s alright to demand a bit of alone time with your Mum or Dad. You will value this time in the future.