Even if you are used to talking openly about stuff, this may be a whole different story. There are so many things that can get in the way:

• Your fear

• Everyone else’s fear

• Your sibling's treatment (it may affect their moods and behaviour)

You may have stuff that you want to know about your brother or sister’s cancer but you’re not sure how to ask or who to ask. There might also be things that you want to say to your brother or sister but just don’t know how to go about it.

Things to think about

• There is no right or wrong way to do it.

• Let your parents or brother or sister know that you want to know what is going on.

• Your parents might not want to talk about your brother or sister’s cancer because they don’t want to worry you, find it too hard to talk about it themselves, or think that they are protecting you.

• Maybe they don’t have all the information themselves.

• It can be difficult to talk about the situation if there is a big gap between what you want to talk about and what everyone else wants to talk about.

• It may be easier to talk to someone outside the family. Think about people who you trust and feel comfortable with.

Talking to your brother or sister

How this happens will depend on a number of things including:

• How old they are 

• How close you are

• How comfortable they are with talking about what is happening to them

• How much you want to know

It might take several tries to be able to ask the questions or share the stuff that you want to.

Being afraid or scared that you will upset people can often hold you back from talking about how you are really feeling or what is really going on for you.

Talking Tips

• Think about what you want to ask/ say before you start.

• Be aware that it may be hard at first with lots of silent moments.

• Try not to freak out if someone gets upset – it’s not an easy topic to discuss.

• Don’t worry about getting it right the first time. It might take several tries to ask the questions or share the stuff that you want to.

• Do something else at the same time, like cleaning up in the kitchen.

If talking is too hard

Sometimes talking is too hard but you still want your parents, siblings, other family members or friends to know how you are feeling. You can also:

• Write a letter

• Find cards that say it for you

• Send an SMS

• Facebook

• Find songs that say it for you

• Leave signs on your bedroom door

For my sibling- when your brother or sister has cancer

Below is a tear off card you can download and print to give to your sibling who has cancer to let them know what it’s like for you and to share your feelings.

For my parent- when your sibling has cancer

Below is a tear off tip you can download and print to give to your parent when your brother or sister has cancer, to let them know you need their support.

Tear off card to give to friends with ways they can help you when your brother or sister has cancer

Below is a tear off card you can download and print to give to friends to let them know what they can do to support you while you are dealing with your sibling’s cancer.