While each individual is different, here is a place to find out about some things that might be best avoided.

• Don’t be over the top with sympathy.

• Don’t say you understand unless you really do.

• Don’t run away your friend needs you now more than ever.

A lot of the time when someone close to us gets cancer we can worry about doing and saying things that will offend them or make them feel worse.

Most of the time this worry is unnecessary; your friend will know that you’re not trying to hurt them.

Having said that, it is always handy to know a few things to avoid – better than finding out through trial and error!

Things to Avoid

• ­If you’re feeling sick, avoid visiting your friend. Cancer patients can have reduced immunity and catching a cold/flu can have a much more serious effect on them than you. Just give them a call or text instead. Always better to be safe than sorry.

• ­Don’t go over the top with sympathy for your friend’s situation. They don’t need to be pitied, just supported.

• ­Saying things like “I know exactly how you feel”. Unless you’ve also had cancer, chances are you probably don’t.

• ­Forcing them to talk about their cancer. Try to let them take the lead and they will talk about their cancer if they want to.

• ­Bringing along a huge group of other friends with you to visit – this can be tiring and overwhelming. Always check ahead before bringing extra visitors.

• ­Continuously focusing on all the negative aspects of cancer, like the possibility of death. Again, follow your friend’s lead, if they want to talk about it, be open to it. If they don’t, be sensitive to that.

• ­Ignoring the fact they have cancer. You don’t have to focus on it, but don’t ignore it.

• ­Withdrawing from your friend’s life. They need you now more than ever.

• ­Comparing your friend’s cancer with other people’s cancer. Everyone’s cancer is different and comparing them can simply be misleading.