You too may be feeling worried, scared, helpless and lots of other things.

Here’s a heads up about some of the feelings and experiences you can expect.

• Your friend having cancer is more than likely going to have an emotional effect on you.  

• You may experience a whole range of feelings, some of them you may not have felt before. Below are a list of feelings that you may or may not experience. 

• It’s ok for you to feel all of these emotions, it’s ok to feel completely different to anything described here.

Possible Feelings

• Shock/Disbelief

This can often be an initial reaction to the news your friend has cancer. The fact that someone you care about has cancer can be a massive “WTF!” moment.

• Fear

Finding out your friend has cancer can scare the crap out of you. Some fear is based in reality but some isn’t. Admitting that you’re afraid can sometimes be a big relief. Learning early on how to deal with your fear will be really helpful.

• Helpless

You might want to be able to help them/make them feel better and not know what to do. Just supporting them, listening when they need a chat, being a shoulder to cry, having a laugh together will be the best help you can give.

• Sadness

There are plenty of reasons to feel sad that this is happening to someone you care so much for. It is a natural reaction.

• You may initially feel nothing.

Don’t be too hard on yourself if this happens, it might just mean that you need more time to let it sink in and process it all. Remember, it doesn’t mean you don’t care!

• Anger

Feeling angry that this has happened to your friend is pretty understandable. You may feel it’s not fair that this has happened to your friend, and that’s ok, but remember there are good and bad ways to deal with anger.

• Loss and Loneliness

A feeling of loss and loneliness can arise because your relationship has changed. Cancer may prevent you spending as much time together as you’re used to and will almost certainly change the type of things you do together (at least temporarily).

• Worried

You may be worried about what the cancer is going to do to your friend and whether or not they are going to die. Remember, not every person who gets cancer dies from it. Many people who get cancer survive and go on to live long and full lives.