• Your friend going through the toughest time of their life is certain to have some effect on you. 

• You too may be feeling worried, scared, helpless and lots of other things. 

• Here’s a heads up about some of the feelings and experiences you can expect.

Your friend has found out that their parent, brother or sister has cancer. They will be experiencing a lot of emotions and will be going through one of, if not the toughest time in their life.

Seeing your friend in distress can have an emotional effect on you.

Below is a list of feelings that you may or may not experience. Its ok for you to feel any or all of these emotions….it’s ok to feel completely different to anything described here.

Possible Feelings

• Shock/Disbelief                                                                                                                                                                    This can often be an initial reaction to the news your friend’s family member has cancer. The fact that someone you know has cancer can be a massive “WTF!” moment.

• Helpless                                                                                                                                                                              You might want to be able to help them and/or make them feel better and not know what to do. Just supporting them, listening when they need a chat, being a shoulder to cry on, having a laugh together will be the best help you can give.

• Sadness                                                                                                                                                                             There are plenty of reasons to feel sad that this is happening to someone you care so much for. It is a natural reaction.

• You may initially feel nothing. Don’t be too hard on yourself if this happens, it might just mean that you need more time to let it sink in and process it all. Remember, it doesn’t mean you don’t care!

• Anger                                                                                                                                                                                 Feeling angry that this has happened to your friend is pretty understandable. You may feel it’s not fair that this has happened to them, and that’s ok, but remember there are good and bad ways to deal with anger.

• Loss and Loneliness                                                                                                                                                                                                    Feelings of loss and loneliness can arise because your relationship has changed. Your friend’s family member having cancer may prevent you spending as much time together as you’re used to (at least temporarily).

Remember, this isn’t because they don’t want to spend time with you, there are just other things taking up their time.

• Worried                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           You may be worried about what the cancer is going to do to your friend’s family member and whether or not they might die. Remember, not every person who gets cancer dies from it. Many people who get cancer survive and go on to live long and full lives.