It was in July 2007 that cancer entered my life on a very personal level. I was half-way through my first year of university and visiting my parents and sister in Darwin, where they were living at the time. My mum was experiencing severe stomach cramps which doctors believed was a water-borne bacterial infection.

As this had happened once previously, my dad, who is a doctor, suggested that she get some investigations done just as a precaution to rule out anything serious. The first CT scan showed enlarged lymph nodes and this is when lymphoma was first mentioned. Further tests showed more abnormalities and biopsies were taken.

"I still remember the day my mum was diagnosed"

with mantle cell lymphoma. I remember the phone call from mum and dad. I remember where I was and what I was doing, and above all I remember how shattered I felt. At the time I wasn’t even sure if lymphoma and cancer meant the same thing. I felt so lost and out of control. My immediate reaction and way of dealing with the diagnosis was to read. I read every website and text book I could get my hands on to find out as much information as I could. 

My parents made the decision that the best place for my mum’s treatment was back in Brisbane, with excellent medical services and the support of family and friends. Within 2 weeks my mum had moved back to Brisbane and was starting her chemo. Mum was treated at a hospital in Brisbane and this soon become a very well-known place for the whole family. 

"My dad and sister stayed in Darwin to pack up the house"

and get prepared to move back to Brisbane and they were back within a month of the diagnosis. Mum started her chemo regime which meant she would spend most of the next 6 months in hospital. Mum’s chemo involved time in hospital followed by short periods at home. At first mum did really well with the chemo and had limited side effects. Mum’s chemo started not long after my second semester at uni.

My time was spread between uni lectures and tutorials, the hospital, uni assignments, helping dad with my younger sister, and other house duties. My mum lost all her hair, and had side effects like nausea and vomiting; she got tired and run down, and didn’t eat much for a while and lost a lot of weight. Doctors said the cancer was responding really well to the treatment. This kept us all positive and encouraged during mum’s treatment. 

"Mum was out of hospital in time for Christmas."

She started to get her energy back, gained back the weight she had lost and grew some fluffy new hair. Christmas was spent with the whole family and was a positive time for us. 

In October and November, doctors had harvested mum’s stem cells. The plan was to then give them back in what is called an autologous stem cell transplant. This is done in the hope of a more full and lengthy remission from the lymphoma. Mum went back into hospital in February 2008. She was given 1 week of intense chemotherapy with the mission to obliterate her current bone marrow. Therefore, when given the harvested stem cells the body would start to produce brand new bone marrow. This procedure makes patients very susceptible to infections as they have no immune system during this time. 

"After mum’s previous treatment doctors were confident that she would cope well"

with the stem cell transplant and recover quickly. Everyone was extra careful to wash their hands and not get too close as she was severely immuno-compromised. It was about 5 days following mum’s stem cell transplant when dad called to let me know that mum had been taken to ICU with septic shock. I felt numb. I was about 2 hours from the hospital, at the sunshine coast with friends and didn’t know how to react. I was lost and just wanted to be there for my family. The most important thing for me and my way of dealing with this news was facts; I wanted all the facts, as many as I could get.

I asked my dad for the honest truth and he gave it to me. He explained how sick mum was, and that at the current time one system in her body was struggling. If it went to two the mortality rate increased, and if three systems are involved once again an increase in mortality. 

"When I made it to the hospital with my younger sister"

my dad and brother were already there. My mum was so unwell; she could hardly keep her eyes open. She had tubes and wires in all sorts of places and was on drugs to keep her blood pressure up. I was told mum had tried to go to the toilet alone in the middle of the night and collapsed. Mum spent 3 days in ICU and when she returned to the ward she was still so weak.

The following month mum spent in bed. Turns out when she had fallen she had fractured her ankle. It was only a short time later that another infection was discovered. This time she had a fungal infection in the lungs. The drugs used to treat this infection made mum nauseous and therefore she was not eating much. 

"All up mum spent 6 weeks in hospital."

I forced myself to fit everything in and continue with study and work and helping everyone out. I always felt like I was trying to keep everything together and look after my dad who was trying to do the same. Funny enough I did really well at uni that semester, with some exceptional marks. 

When mum returned home she spent the majority of time on the couch or in bed. It took her months to recover, but day by day she got better. There were a few more bumps and scares along the way when mum got infections and spent a few days in hospital. 

"When my mum was first diagnosed I was unsure how others would react."

I didn’t know what to say or how to tell people that my mum had cancer. There were times when I came so close to blurting it all out and telling everyone to just leave me alone. At uni, where I spent a lot of my time, no one knew what was going on, no one knew my mum had cancer or she was so sick. Cancer, though known by all, is thankfully still distant to many, but now cancer is a part of my life and always will be.

I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders when I finally started to tell people, though this wasn’t until after I was introduced to CanTeen. During my mum’s first few months of treatment someone from the Leukaemia Foundation visited her in hospital and she asked about support for her children. She was given some information and registration forms for CanTeen. I remember mum asking me to please join in order to encourage my younger sister to join. At the time I thought that I would do it for her, but I was unsure about the support CanTeen could provide me.

"Like many other people I was naive about what CanTeen does for young people living with cancer."

I had no idea that the age range was 12-24 and even so thought that it would be mostly those around the age of 12. More so I thought CanTeen was for patients and though I read that offspring and siblings were also members, I thought we would be the minority; I was soon proven wrong.

My younger sister and I joined CanTeen during mums first period of treatment, however did not get involved for some time. My first CanTeen program was a new member’s camp, the day that my mum was released from her 6 week stay in hospital. My sister couldn’t attend and therefore I had to go alone. I was so nervous when I got dropped at the airport.

The next 3 days were the most significant moment in my cancer journey. My first camp was an amazing experience. For the first time in my cancer journey, cancer wasn’t a horrible word that meant the end of life as we know it. Everyone there had a cancer story to tell and everyone could relate to part of your cancer story and most of all everyone was positive and happy.

"Since this time I have become as involved as I can."

I know to this day, without CanTeen I would not have the confidence in myself that I do now. I am now comfortable to talk about my cancer journey and to educate others who are less aware. I have a strong will to advocate for cancer awareness and services. In CanTeen we talk about “the vibe”. To outsiders this means little, but after spending just one hour with members you will understand just what we mean. The vibe is an unspoken feeling, it is special and unique; it’s the positive feeling, the sense of understanding, the unconditional support and the immediate friendship between members. Never have I experienced anything like it; something so special, that it can change the lives of so many. 

On winter camp in 2008, one young member wrote that without cancer we are not who we are, we would not be as strong or have made it this far. These words, so wise for one so young, for me sum up my journey. I have made it this far and the lessons I have learnt will help me into the future.

"My mum has been in remission for a year and a half now"

Although she gets sick every now and then, she is doing really well. I am currently in my final year of study and will be an Advanced Care Paramedic in 2 short months. This is the next part of my life’s journey, both exciting and scary at the same time.