Four years seems like a short while ago. But I can tell you it has been the longest four years possible. The most important thing I’ve learnt within these four years would have to be to:

"keep thinking positive."

It was almost two months into high school when my brother got cancer. I didn’t stream from my primary school into their high school, and went to the local public school instead. This was an odd occurrence for my old primary school, so not many people did what I did. I knew a total of four kids in my first week at high school.

Although I was feeling insecure on the inside, I put on my best smiley face and walked around the school, contrasting the aspects of a private primary school to a public high school. There was a huge difference. Within a month I had a group of friends which I would sit with at lunch, but I really didn’t know much about them. My brother got sick and I went to school for the first week he was away. Only a few kids in my year knew about it, but suddenly I was being approached by all these tough, mean looking Year 10 kids.

"That’s when my insecurities peaked."

Luckily for me, they were patting me on the back and telling me it was going to be okay. I went and visited my brother for a week, then I had to go back home. When I got back, news had got around and I was lucky to find any teacher or student that wasn’t asking how I was coping.

The school was generous to me, giving me help wherever they could; extensions on assignments, skipping tests and loaning me a laptop for some time. They held fundraisers for my brother, who, unknown to me, was a very popular year 10 kid. This went on for about 2 months before I went back down to Sydney to live with my mother and brother at the hospital.

I went to a hospital school there, which really wasn’t good for my intelligence. After some time spent there, they said I should be back at home going to a real school where my intelligence wasn’t being wasted. So I went back up and lived with my Aunty and Uncle for almost 9 months.

When I arrived back at school, it was the start of the year all over again. Almost every kid had forgotten who I was, except for that close circle of friends. I was being called “The new kid” even though I didn’t once enrol in any other school. I didn’t mind so much.

"I harnessed the situation"

and used round two to create a better first impression! My brother, although his case had always looked hopeful, ran into many complications. Problems such as epileptic attacks and fungus growing on his lungs were a few. Every time I heard this kind of news my mind got more confused and I found myself staying up later and later into the morning.

But when I went to school, I completely changed my face to a happy person. And I really did become happy most of the time. Putting on the shallow, unrealistic face kept me happy. Although it does seem a little selfish, you are more helpful being happy and positive than when you’re being scared and worrying all the time about your sibling. If you go down that path, you just become another burden on your friends and give negative vibes to your sibling, and they need to be as hopeful as possible.

By 2008 my brother was given the okay to go home, and that’s when I moved home . And all the happiness I’d been putting on, it had also been creating anticipation. So when he got home, the family was being genuinely happy, and couldn’t help but celebrate. A word of advice: although I was putting on a brave face at school and acting happy, the other yuckier stuff built up inside me.

"You need an outlet for these feelings."

Otherwise you block up and your happy face will disappear and you will yell at people, and that’s totally not good cricket.

In conclusion, this event in my life has created me. I was once a completely imaginary kid, that knew nothing of responsibility or ownership. That changed me. I have become a confident, outgoing leader, and I’m rolling down a hill of success. A proverbial hill of success though... I’m not actually on a hill.