My journey began on my birthday in 2004 at just eleven years old. My grandmother was my mother. Growing up I never really had a big attachment with my biological parents so she was my mom. It was my birthday and the last day of school. My biological mother came and picked me up and said "were going to go see Momma". I asked why and then my mom told me that my grandmother had cancer. I knew what it was because I had lost many family members to cancer. I couldn’t do anything else but cry. I saw her and she looked so fragile and sick.

"I just couldn’t handle it"

My dad forbid me to see my Momma as much because he said that since she was my mothers mom she should be with her more. When she found out she had cancer she was at her last stage. She did not know she had it for many years. All those years the doctors were telling her that she had MS.

So we knew that we just had to keep her comfortable for as long as possible until she wanted to go.

"From that point on I turned into a horrible child"

I was doing stuff I wasn’t supposed to be doing at eleven years old. I became really messed up.

My momma died early in the morning on November 29th, 2004. I got a call from my mother that my momma had passed away. I was at home with my dad. The worst part is that the night before I went and saw her, she looked at me and said "you are a beautiful young lady and you make me proud and you always will. I love you so much and you be strong, follow your dreams, reach for the stars and don’t stop until your dreams come true. I don’t have much time left but I wanted to tell you that you will be okay and I love you".
I hugged her and walked away so that I could cry. I came back 2 hours later when it was time to go home and I wanted to say goodbye to her but my dad told me not to wake her up.

When I found out she passed away it was like my whole world crashed down and I felt that my life would never get better. For a while I rebelled -  I was heavily into drugs and alcohol.

"But to this day I tell mysel..."

that a part of her soul lives inside me and that’s what is keeping me alive to this day.

I am eighteen years old and I am actually doing great. I am graduating from high school this month and I have my life on track for the first time in my life. I am still grieving but I am slowly dealing with it. I only remember the good times I had with her and how happy we were because when I think about the bad times it makes me break down and cry (which is what I am doing now). Her soul forever lives on. She really is my guardian angel.